And If I Die Before I Wake
by Abbi4Raie
Summary: "The explosion that cut her off resonated throughout Tony's body." The alternate story to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.


**So here is the alternate ending story I mentioned in Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Well, the alternate ending _of_ beginning is mostly the same, just a few changes. The alternate ending doesn't occur until the actual end.  
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**Sorry if there are any mistakes. I typed this(other than the parts I copy-and-pasted from the other story, which doesn't include the first few paragraphs) without my glasses, just after being flashed in the eye with a blinding light from an iphone camera, and my eyelashes were torturing me.**

**I don't own NCIS or ACDC.**

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"Ziva, DiNozzo, go check out the storage lock-up." Gibbs tossed the keys to Tony.

"On it, boss," he said.

The two turned to leave as Gibbs continued, "McGee, go see if Abby needs any help. I'm down with Ducky if you need me.

The elevator dinged, announcing it's arrival. The partners climbed aboard. Ziva pressed the button for the main floor and stood silently during the entire descent, pretending not to be listening to Tony ramble on about movies.

They exited the elevator and made their way out to the car. The former mossad officer snatched the car key from Tony's hand, announcing, "I'm driving." Tony groaned, but sat in the passenger seat anyway.

The usual bickering commenced. It started out with Tony making a comment on Ziva's driving, including the words "die", "kill", and "horrible". Ziva put in a snide remark. And Tony, being Tony, just _had_ to say something else. But somehow, and very surprisingly, the pair were laughing by the time they made it to their destination.

As they walked toward the set-up, Ziva said, "You go check out Petty Officer Jameson's locker. I will take the brother's. Keep in contact using our cell phones."

"Alright." He handed her the key, slipping the car key out of her hand so they had a chance of making it back to HQ alive. She pretended not to notice.

The two lockers were on opposite sides of the place, so they headed in opposing directions.

"Zee-vah, you there yet?" Tony said as he entered the locker.

"Yes, I am. You should see this place. It is a mess!"

"Complete opposite of this one. There is barely anything in here, and what is is all organized. Guy's a neat freak."

It was almost silent as Tony continued searching the locker, or what little there was in it. The only sound, other than the noise he was making, was Ziva's rhythmic breathing.

That was broken when she whispered, "What? Oh, n-"

The explosion that cut her off resonated throughout Tony's body. Then, almost as if in slow motion, he took off running.

_No. No! This can't be happening?_

He couldn't get there fast enough, but his legs were going as fast as they possibly could.

He couldn't lose her. Not again.

What felt like an eternity later, the locker was in sight. It got closer and closer with every pounding footstep until, finally, he was there.

Ziva was sprawled across the floor, blood splattered everywhere. But she couldn't be dead. Tony wouldn't allow.

He hung up the call on his phone. As he dialed 911, he checked to make sure Ziva was still alive. His heart skipped a beat when he found a pulse, though faint.

Then he realized the dispatcher was speaking on the other end, and he knew he had to say something. "This is Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo of NCIS. My partner has just been caught in an explosion. She's unconscious, with barely a pulse, and there's a lot of blood, and-"

"Stay calm. sir. Help will be on the way as soon as you tell me where you are."

Tony relayed the information to the woman.

"C'mon, Zi, don't die on me. Just keep holding on. Help will be here soon," he said in a soothing tone. He continued speaking to her until her heard sirens in the distance.

Then everything happened so fast.

The ambulance was there and Ziva was being loaded into it. Tony was being held back - they wouldn't let him go with her. And then he was released, but the ambulance was gone before he could make a move.

Tony's feet carried him to the car while his brain was still trying to process what had happened. And he sped off, on his way to the hospital.

x.

After a few rings, there was a click and then a gruff voice said, "Gibbs."

"I'm at Bethesda. There was a bomb. Ziva was hit."

"On the way."

Gibbs hung up, leaving Tony alone with his thoughts.

What if Ziva died? He didn't think he would be able to survive that again. He would probably end up going batshit crazy, a million times worse than the last time. He felt like it was his fault - again. He let her check the brother's locker, instead of taking it himself. His locker was much more likely to have a bomb in it; he _was_ their prime suspect, and he knew it. But they hadn't found anything against him, so they had to let him go. He had just enough time to plant a bomb in his storage locker, the obvious place for them to look next, and conveniently placed on the opposite end of the lot from his brother's, another place they needed to check out.

Why had this happened? Ziva didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve all of the hell her life had thrown her way; not her mother's death, not her sister's death, not her brother's death, not Saleem and Somalia, nothing. But her soul was still continuously tortured.

Every time Tony closed his eyes, he would see Ziva. He saw her body on the floor of the locker, unconscious. He saw the blood, along with some of her flesh. An image flashes in his mind every time he blinked.

Finally, Gibbs arrived, breaking him free from his tormenting thoughts.

"Heard anything?"

"No, boss, I haven't."

The silver-haired man walked straight on past him, not telling him where he was going.

Tony slumped down into an uncomfortable plastic chair, and the dreaded thoughts took over him mind once again.

x.

They were all standing outside of Ziva's room in the ICU, waiting to be let in. It was only hours later, but Gibbs and Ducky had bribed the nurses into letting the team see her, though they would only allow two of them in at once.

Ducky and Jimmy were the first ones to go in. They were in there for a few minutes, before walking through the door with stony expressions on their faces. Tony ignored them, continuing his pacing.

McGee and Abby went in next. They seemed to take forever, making Tony's nerves raw. He paced and paced, trying to calm himself and keep his thoughts at bay. He could feel the eyes of the others on him, but ignored it, focusing solely on the fact that Ziva was in the room next to him.

Finally, the door opened. Abby was clutching onto McGee. He had his arm wrapped around her shoulder's comfortingly.

Tony stopped his pacing and walked in through the door, Gibbs following closely behind, though the younger agent barely noticed he was there. The only thing on his mind was Ziva.

What he saw made his heart skip a beat, and not in a good way. There were so many machines hooked up to Ziva, the beeping and humming the only sounds in the room. Ziva was covered in horrible burns. Her hair was matted with blood and dirt, and possibly some of her own flesh.

Tony walked over to her bedside, gazing down at her. There was one tiny patch of unmarred olive skin on her cheek. He very lightly brushed his finger tips against it.

He never remembered anything else until the soft, distant beeping sped up. It took over him, sounding as if it were coming from the inside of his head.

The nurses rushed in and took charge. They tried to kick him and Gibbs out, but after much refusal, gave up and joined the others in trying to slow down Ziva's heart.

Then there was silence. It only lasted about a millisecond, but in everybody's minds it felt like an eternity. They all held their breath, waiting for the beeping to return.

And it did. A perfect, steady heartbeat.

Tony sighed in relief. His legs felt weak from the panic that had flooded through him, but he pushed through it. He followed Gibbs into the hall, where he could see the relief etched into everyone's faces.

x.

For the next few days, Tony spent all of his time at the hospital. But then someone finally managed to convince him to go home and grab a shower, a nap, and some clothes.

"I'll be back soon," he whispered in Ziva's ear, ghosting his finger's over that patch of skin. Then he left.

He was stopped at a red light when the song Highway To Hell by ACDC started playing on the radio. He loved that song, so he started singing along.

As the first chorus ended, the light turned green. The truck in front of him gunned it's engine. One of the pipes it was transporting came loose. The last thing Tony saw was the pipe flying through his windshield, then it was nothing but black.

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**The last word of pipe up there^ I accidentally spelled as pope :D.**

**Anyway, hope you like it. Please review!**


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